After I came home from basic training, I remember going to a restaurant to eat with my some of my family. I went my my new class A uniform, ready to show off what I had accomplished. In between bites of food that I was eating faster than what most people could blink, an older man came up to me, grabbed my hand and said, “Son, you’re a courageous hero. Thank you for everything you do.” I in turn thanked him and went back to my meal. I was 19 at the time and had no idea what he was talking about. I hadn’t done anything besides miss some sleep. I didn’t understand and to be honest I still don’t understand it. When people say those things to me, I just thank them back and go on about my day.
I spent years ignoring my call into ministry. It was either “I’m too young.” or “I can’t handle that kind of responsibility.”. I was really good at coming up with excuses. If you want to see courage, take a look at the verses about when Jesus called His disciples. Man, now that is courage. There have been many times where God has called me to do something, and I blatantly ignore Him. That isn’t courage, that’s cowardice. The Army taught me how to fight, how to survive, put me through the training and told me when I was ready. God, in his infinite wisdom, calls you to something, already knowing you are ready and just wants you to say yes.
A couple of months ago, I finally gained the courage to say yes to God. I met with my local church board (not nearly as scary as I thought it would be), who prayed over me and committed with me to hold me accountable for my decision to follow God’s calling. I ask that you do the same thing. The next four years are going to be difficult for me. I, just like the disciples, have no idea where the next step are going to lead to for Sarah and I. I do know that God has enough love and wisdom to call me to ministry and that I need to answer that call.
I have started the application process to a couple of universities, and I am overwhelmed with paperwork already, a minuscule problem given the importance of what God has trusted me with. I will spend the next couple of weeks meeting and praying with men of God who will encourage and push me. I know there will be times when I will try to step in for God, and I know there will be times when I fall flat on my face. More importantly than all of that thought, I know the love that God has for me with get back to where I need to be and to keep running the race.
Quick side note, please be praying for Sarah also. This is going to be a difficult time for her as well. There will be times when my studies or ministry will have to come before our marriage and her patience and understanding have blessed me and kept me going so far. Thank you for your time and prayers.

Memorial day is usually a bitter-sweet holiday for me. I have known good men and women who are the reason that we celebrate that holiday, and usually find myself mourning their loss. It is also a time for me to look back to see where I have been and look forward to where I am going. I have found myself asking that question as of late; where is my life going? I have always wanted to be a part of something that is bigger than just me. I want to be someone who makes a lasting impression on those around me so that each person’s life I come in contact with is changed in some lasting way. Unfortunatly, I have done that very thing in a negative way for some people. I also know that God has used me to be a part of His larger plan, and that excities me!
However, I found myself unable to really see what God has in store for me, what direction He wants me to take with my life. This is unsettling for me. The army taught me to not have need to know specifics, but to just accomplish my mission. I don’t need to know all the details, but I need to know what the end result should be. I had an awesome oppourtunity to share briefly with a good friend Jennifer Telfer before she heads back to Sudan. It was great to hear over the past few weeks what God is doing in her life. Although talking with her was insipiring, it was also a painful reminder that I have no idea where God wants me right now.
Even until this morning, it was nagging at me, my desire to know what my legacy is going to be; to know the end result for this chapter in my life. And as though God knew exactly what I needed (which He did), two things fell into my lap. The first one was a video that I had forgot about that my pastor created a few months ago. It was just a comforting reminder of what was done without me and that God is the one who needs to run this, not me (video is below).
The second was a couple of verses that I have heard since I was a kid. I know it like the back of my hand, but never paid much attention to it…Jeremiah 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.
I want a legacy but it isn’t mine, and it never was mine to start with. No one wants to disappear with time, but God is eternal and will never pass with time. He knew me before I was me, and will know me long after I am gone from this earth. I don’t need to know where God wants my life, I just need to be ready.

BELIEVE from Ryan Akers on Vimeo.